Cheaters.

Earlier this week, I was off near the mountain in the early morning.  Totally hit or miss up here - hit only if someone is leaving one of the resorts.  I'm not the most patient of people, so I usually miss out and head back to town.  That day was different.

It was about 8:20am that the ride request came in - for the resort right across the street from the one I'd just dropped off at.  Score!  In the land of ride-share (and probably taxis), this is like winning the jackpot - to not have to drive too far for your next pickup AND to not have to wait around in between.  Time is money, y'all... time. is. money!!

I head over the other resort to pick up Tom.  I sent him a text to let him know I was pulling in, and would meet him near the valet area.  Tom arrives two minutes later dressed in business attire and coffee in hand and I'm immediately jealous he didn't ask me if I wanted a latte, because I do.

Tom:  Ok, we're gonna have to go get the bags.

Me:  Oh, sorry, I could have met you at the casita where you're staying.  Usually valet is just where everyone meets me.

Tom:  No worries, she's still getting ready.

We pull up, he hops out and runs up the exterior stairs and returns with a suitcase and a briefcase.  I ask him if there's more, and if he needs help.  He doesn't.  He returns with another suitcase. And stands at the car door and proclaims, "Here comes the queen," in a rather sarcastic tone.

I think to sarcastic self, "trouble in paradise... but at least he's got a coffee."  A bleach blond woman emerges, with so many things teetering from her grasp.  Hair brush, curling iron, Louie Vuitton bag, the usual, ya know?

I confirm the destination and crank the ac per Tom's request (apparently, Tom is HOT) and head to the other side of the mountain.

Most people who ride with me, are chatty, though some are not and you can tell right away which side of the fence they fall on). Particularly with business dressed folks... they're on the phone, checking email or confirming the days agenda with their fellow passengers.  Almost never are they silent though.  Tom and his lady friend were being incredibly quiet.  Very intentionally, incredibly quiet.  Whispering.

Now, unless you're discussing pending patents, attorney-clinet privileged information or the like, let's assume your secret is safe with me.  (Notwithstanding, changing your name and some of the relevant details to chronicle in this blog, however).

Lady with the LV:  Is there a Starbucks or a convenience store on the way?

Me (immediately finding this odd since Tom was already carrying a beautiful white cup with green lettering.  Maybe Tom was selfish and forgot to get the Lady with the LV a coffee?):  Um, yea, well, I'm sure we'll pass SOMEthing on the way.

LwtLV:  Ok, he needs to get dropped off somewhere.

Tom and LwtLV continue whispering.

Tom:  Hey, how long do you think it'll take to get there?

Me:  About 20 minutes I'd guess.  It's tough to tell with morning commutes, since we'll be on mostly side streets.

about 15 minutes pass

Tom:  Hey, can you drop me off at the Comfort Suites up here on the right?

I thought this was odd, since I picked up at a swank Marriott, and the destination was another swank Marriott on the other side of town.  "Sure," I said,  pointing, "this one right here?"

As I'm pulling in, the LwtLV is on the phone:
"No, we're pulling in right now.  No, it's a gentleman named Sam that you're picking up.  He's got a purple dress shirt on.  Yup, we're here right now."

I help "Sam" get his suitcase and briefcase and get back in the car.  As I'm pulling the car into drive, I look to my right to see Sam, take his pointer finger up to his lips, kiss it, and turn it toward LwtLV.

I immediately see what's happening and feel suuuuuuper uncomfortable.  That wasn't Tom after all, that was Sam.  And LwtLV used Tom's uber account to drop Sam, her Valley lover off at a hotel, in between the one she and Sam stayed at and the one she was going to a work conference at.  I confirm my suspicions when I drop LwtLV off at her destination - wedding ring.

Lessons Learned:

1. People will go to get lengths to be dishonest, if something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't.  Trust your gut.
2. You needn't be smart or particularly attractive to juggle a spouse and a lover - you only need to be willing.  
3. All of this makes me rather sad, and not particularly optimistic of relationships.  I know this isn't the norm (at least I hope it's not) but it's a disappointing display nonetheless.  

Lessons (I wish they'd) Learned:

1. If you're done, be done.  There are some really cool, single people out there (ahem) - please only occupy your pro-rata share of available partners.
2. Uber sends a very detailed receipt of pick-up and drop-off locations, travel time and route traveled, along with time stamps.  Probably best not to use your husbands account, to drop off your lover, and then order him another ride with the same account.