It was a Friday evening. I was sitting at home, waiting for the beeping phone to tell me that there was a passenger nearby awaiting a chariot to come fetch them. It beeps. I accept. And then the map comes up showing me where this person is. 15 minutes away on the west-side of town. I groan and walk to my car.
I'm halfway down my block when the phone rings. "Uber Passenger" is calling. I answer and he tells me he's just south of me, about 5 minutes. "Hmmm, that's odd, why'd you pin yourself what out there then," I ask.
Man: I've never used this. I'm at the Vine. Get me here. I need to know what it'll cost to go to the North Side of town.
I let the guy know there's a way to estimate the fare before you request, so I'm not sure -- I really have no way of knowing what the fare will be, it's based on location, distance and time.
I pull up to the curb and shoot him a text that I'm out front. I wait.
Suddenly there's a large, older gentleman (I'd say late 60s.) POUNDING on my car window like a crazed maniac. Keep in mind it's dark and this scared the shit right out of me. I unlock the door. He gets in the car and in a big booming voice shouts, "I need to know how much it's going to cost to get to the North Side!! I'm not taking this if it's going to be $100." I take a deep breath and say, "let me catch my breath, you just scared me." I pull out my phone and show the man how to calculate an estimate of the fare. Between $42 and $56 it tells us.
Man: Alright, let's go!
Me: Alright, you've got it.
We're about a minute into the ride and he tells me he's going up there to meet this lady he met on "Plenty of Fish." "She's really sweet", he tells me, "But her friends will be there, and I'm to sure I want to meet people this late at night, especially after I've been drinking."
Man: Do I sound drunk?
Before I get a chance to answer, he starts clicking away on his iPhone, frantically composing a text -- likely to his lady friend.
Man: How do you spell "sensuous"?
I gag in my mouth as I briefly try to figure out the context he's using this word in to this "really sweet lady". And spell it. And immediately get grossed out and don't want to continue the ride for one second longer. Sadly, I still have about 30 more miles in the darkness of the night and desert to have this guy in my car.
Lessons Learned:
- Carry mace. Or a tazer. People are weird.
Lessons I wish He'd Learn:
- If you have to ask if you sound drunk, you are.
- Don't ask anyone how to spell sexual sounding words. You have an iPhone in your hand. It's a powerful tool. Use it.
No comments:
Post a Comment